July 8th, 2008 by Tejvan Pettinger Print This Post
"People say I'm indecisive, but I don't know about that." - George Bush
"Ummm... I'm not sure..." We all suffer from indecision at times. If
we are not careful, this can become a debilitating problem which feeds
on itself. Indecision is often related to lack of self confidence and
a tendency to worry about potential problems. To overcome indecision
we need to have the faith to follow our intuition, bearing in mind
that sometimes it is not what we do, but rather how we do things that
is important.
Both Options Can Work
"Indecision is often worse than wrong action." - Henry Ford
Sometimes we feel that it is of vital importance to choose the right
course of action. We feel that one choice must be the 'right' one and
the other option 'wrong'. However, this is often a mistake. What is
important is how we make use of our choices. Maybe we have a choice
between going to two different places; as long as we have the right
attitude we can cultivate happiness wherever we go. If we are
constantly worrying about our decision, then we will not be able to
enjoy life even if we choose the so called 'right action'.
I know a friend who regrets a choice he made at age 21 (not getting a
certain job). He blames this for unhappiness in is life 15 years
later. This is a mistake as the choice is much less important than he
thinks; life is what we make of it and is not just about making the
'right choices'. Don't fret about making the perfect choice; just
retain the best attitude to wherever life might take you.
Generate Self Confidence
Indecision often occurs because we lack self confidence and doubt our
abilities. Perhaps we would like to take a trial for a sports team,
but we fear whether we are good enough. The internal debate becomes
about whether we should risk taking the trial. In this case, we should
not be worrying about our potential limitations. Instead, we should
follow our instinct - we have much less to lose than our mind would
admit. If we ignore our misplaced anxieties, it will be easier to
follow new choices, without worrying about whether it is worth taking
the step.
Don't Worry About What Others Expect You To Do
Related to the previous point is the concern about what others may
think of our decisions. We all face choices where our instinct is to
go one way, but then we worry about what people will think of our
decision. We can take the advice of other people, but, if we really
feel one course of action is the right choice, that is what we should
do. Don't give too much importance to the opinions of society; it is
your life, not theirs.
Speak With A Friend
Sometimes the indecision can go round our mind in circles, creating a
downward spiral of indecision. When this occurs it is good to discuss
the problem with a trusty friend. We should not ask the friend to
choose for us. But, talking about the issue will help to clarify the
problem and get a better perspective; once we have done this it will
be easier to choose.
You Won't Regret Being Kind
If you are having difficulties choosing, consider your motives.
Sometimes we want to take a selfish approach, but, some inner
conscience is holding us back creating indecision. In these
circumstances, we will not regret being kind to others, but, if we act
only for our self interest then we often will.
Set Priorities
In life there are always things that we won't have time to do. We
can't do everything nor should we try. What is important is to have a
clear idea of our priorities - family, relationships, our inner life,
sport or whatever. When we are faced with decisions, we can quickly
refer to our priorities. Maybe your boss wants you to work overtime -
the extra money would be nice, but, if you are clear about
prioritizing your family life then it will be much easier to
immediately say no. It is not possible to have the best of all worlds.
We cannot expect to dedicate everything to our career and also spend
quality time with our friends and relatives.
Nothing Ventured Nothing Gained
Sometimes we become indecisive because our mind is worrying over all
the potential problems. Rather than looking at the problems consider
the opportunities. An indecisive mind will always pick up on drawbacks
of decisions. Focus on the potential of the situation and this will
help make your more decisive; when an opportunity comes along go for
it.
Tejvan Pettinger lives in Oxford where he writes on issues of self
improvement and self development. He updates a blog Sri Chinmoy
Inspiration. Recent blog posts include Listening to the Inner Voice.
